This is a GREAT resource. I really like this book because it doesn't leave you feeling like you have to follow some formula. It gets back to the heart of why God created relationships and how that can be reflected in dating. God gave us passion and it is meant to be pure to fullfil His purpose!In chapter 3, "Where's the Passion? - Dealing with the Pressure to Get Married," author, Rob Eagar, shows two charts: One explaining a common vicious dating cycle we tend to go through when we expect dating to fulfill our hearts and the other a new cycle of dating that flows from the love of Christ in us.
I can't draw the circular chart, but I will list each cycle which is numbered 1-7.
The vicious cycle:
1. You are imperfect and hungry for acceptance.
2. So you date to find someone who will make you happy.
3. Your date, however, is also imperfect and hungry for acceptance.
4. You try to please each other but eventually make mistakes and disappoint each other.
5. Your disappointment causes conflict and rejection.
6. As the rejection mounts, you begin to look for someone else to please you.
7. The cycle starts over.
The new cycle:
1. You are imperfect, but you are fulfilled by God's love.
2. So when you date someone, he or she no longer has to act perfectly to please you.
3. Therefore, your date is free to be himself or herself.
4. This makes him or her feel more comfortable around you.
5. When your date makes a mistake, you can forgive him or her as God forgave you.
6. In turn, your date enjoys being with you and encourages a deeper relationship.
7. A cycle of intimacy forms, and you grow closer together.
I don't know about you, but I can totally relate to the vicious cycle! For now on I only want the new cycle.
In my next post I will feature a fellow brother of mine and some of the ways the love of Christ has transformed his dating life!
To learn more about Rob Eagar and read excerpts from his book
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